Mediation

Mediation works well fora couple reasons. First, mediation uses something called ‘interest-based negotiation’ to help spouses reach agreements. Interest-based negotiation is a negotiating process where you begin by identifying what is important to both parties (their interests). Once the mediator knows what is important to each party, the mediator helps each party identify options to meet each party’s different interest. A good settlement agreement is one that meets as many interests as possible for both parties.  

Second, the mediation process is based on opening the lines of communication rather than shutting them off. Divorce is an emotional time that is often full of mistrust, hurt feelings and misunderstandings. Mediation begins the process by sitting down to discuss the situation, instead of your spouse receiving a nasty letter from your attorney.
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Mediation has a very high success rate and can be a good option for most people, particularly if you and your spouse can sit in the same room and discuss your case amicably. Some people think they must reach their own agreements first before they can mediate. That’s not the case at all. The mediation process is designed to help people who disagree reach agreements.

Jason Borntreger and Rachel Borntreger are both Supreme Court Certified Family Law Mediators, offering pre-suit mediation, divorce mediation, and post-divorce modification mediation. To begin the mediation process, call our office to schedule a mediation consultation.

Divorce mediation is a process where two people work with a neutral third party, the mediator, to resolve their case. The mediator’s job is to help the parties develop an agreement that works well for both of them. The mediator can make suggestions but cannot make decisions; only the parties will make decisions. Mediation is a voluntary process, so either party can discontinue mediation at any time and for any reason.

There are many benefits of mediation including:

• Parties Avoid Court: Spouses in a divorce mediation do not go to court. The only court involvement is when a judge signs off on the settlement agreement that is filed at the end of the successful mediation.
• Reach Faster Agreements: Litigated cases often take years and are controlled by the judge’s calendar. Divorce mediation occurs on the parties’ timeline and is much quicker.
• Parties Control the Timeline: Spouses in divorce mediation create their own timeline. The case can move at the pace that best suits your family. Litigation clients are subject to the timeline and appearance requirements of the court system.
• Parties Control the Outcome: The parties maintain control of their own agreement rather than a judge. This process allows spouses to make agreements that work best for their family which otherwise could not be ordered by a court due to a court’s limited authority.
• Parties Save Money: Litigation is expensive and the total cost is highly unpredictable. Divorce mediation typically costs less because the process takes less time and is focused on finding a resolution.
• Party Satisfaction: Spouses in divorce mediation report high degrees of satisfaction with the process compared to litigation spouses. Even if litigants are satisfied with the outcome, they are often dissatisfied with the cost, stress, and uncertainty associated with litigation.
• Maintaining Privacy: Divorce mediation is a private process, unlike litigation which plays out in a public courtroom. Litigation often generates many public documents that include allegations and other “dirty laundry.” None of this occurs in mediation.
• Preservation of Party Relationships: Maintaining a good relationship is important to divorcing spouses, especially when kids are involved. One of the reasons divorce mediation works so well is because it assists the parties in communicating with each other.

There are different ways you can get divorced, including going through mediation, using the collaborative divorce process, or going through the court system (litigation). Each divorce, regardless of the process, needs to address all of the same issues: parenting, asset division, spousal support, child support, attorney’s fees, etc. Below is an outline of a typical divorce mediation process. Each of these steps may not apply in every case and/or they may not go exactly in this order. However, this is the basic process that will apply in most situations:

Step 1 – Initial Information Gathering. Every divorce, no matter which process you choose, requires the exchange of at least some information. The information can be exchanged between the parties either before mediation or at mediation. Don’t worry about gathering everything before your first meeting – we will help you identify what additional information you need at your consultation.

Step 2 –Consultation. The first appointment is the mediation consultation. We will begin by discussing your background so we can better understand your situation (e.g, how long have you been married, what do you do for work, etc.). You do not need to discuss why you are getting a divorce unless you feel like that is helpful. At a consultation, you have an opportunity to learn more about mediation and whether it is the right fit for your situation. Consultations typically last about an hour and may be attended by both parties.

Step 3 – Homework. In between your consultation and your mediation, there is typically some type of “homework” that you will need to do. This could include completing your Financial Affidavit, signing up for the parent education class, obtaining recent statements of accounts, working on budgets, or getting a home appraised. Your homework will be identified in your mediation consultation.

Step 4 – Mediation Appointment. After you have completed your homework, you will contact our office to schedule and pay for your mediation. Mediation appointments are usually scheduled 2-3 weeks out, and we reserve either a half day or full day for the mediation.  A half day is 4hours. A full day is 8 hours.  

The parties and the mediator may agree to a series of half day mediations instead of one full day of a mediation. The total and length of the mediation depends on 1) The number and complexity of issues, and 2) How well the two of you can work together. In situations where we are dealing with all issues (i.e., kids, property and support), we typically schedule one full day of mediation. If your situation is very complex or if we are having a hard time reaching agreements, you may need more mediation appointments; if you have already reached some of your own agreements and/or you work very well together, you may need only a half day of mediation.

Step 5 – Document Drafting. Both Rachel Borntreger and Jason Borntreger are trained divorce mediators, but because they are also divorce attorneys, they are able to prepare a settlement agreement rather than referring you to another attorney to write up the documents. Once a complete agreement is reached, the mediator will draft the settlement agreement for you. Once both participants are satisfied with the draft of the agreement, it is signed and filed with the court.

The total length of time that your case takes really depends on the number of meetings you need (which depends on the number and complexity of issues and how well the two of you work together). It is possible to be completely done, start to finish, in as little as 6-8 weeks if you only need one meeting. For each additional meeting you can expect to add 2-3 weeks of time.